It is always exciting to take your new puppy home. You’ve dreamed of having him for so long, you’ve waited for him to be born and then had to wait for him to be weaned and grow up enough to leave his Mama. You’ve been telling all your friends and neighbours about him and you’re dying to show him off. In fact, you’ve already invited half a dozen friends to pop in and visit the day after you bring your puppy home!! After that you’re going to take him to the neighbourhood dog hang-out and introduce him to all the local dogs and owners, and then…

Hang on – is that really the best way to go about it? 

Let’s step back a moment and look at it from:

The Puppy’s point of view.

For the first 12-16 days after he was born, he couldn’t see or hear – his whole world was experienced through smell, taste and touch: the scent of his Mama and siblings, the taste of nice warm milk in his mouth, the jostling from his littermates, smooth warm tongue of his Mama cleaning him off, soft blankets under his belly, and gentle hands of the large creatures who would pick him up and cradle him.

Over the next few weeks, as his eyes and ears opened and his legs grew strong enough to carry him, a whole new way of experiencing the world was revealed to him: he learned to associate the things he smelled and felt with the objects he saw around him and the sounds of daily life, including the timbre of a voice and the face of a familiar person. Gradually, his known world expanded from just the box where he was born and the small area surrounding it, to new rooms in the house and – wonder of wonders! – the wide world outside where the grass (or snow) might tickle his tummy, the sun warm his back, and the wind blow through his fur. But in all these new and interesting places, his littermates were beside him, Mama close by, and his familiar two-legged friends not far away, to comfort him and keep him safe if things got scary.

Around this time lots of new two-leggeds came to the house and petted and played with him and his sibs. It was fun to play with new people, even if he was a bit nervous about them at first, but he knew his Mama would keep him safe and his own familiar two-leggeds were close at hand, giving him a sense of security.

Then, suddenly one day, one of those strangers picked him up and took him into a noisy moving machine – not the one he’d sometimes ridden in with his two-leggeds – and took him away! When the machine stopped and the two-leggeds let him out, he wasn’t home – he was at some strange house where everything was new and different!

The house looked different – all the rooms were in different places, and the furniture was all odd-looking, and even his crate and food dish and leash were different! The air smelled different – odd food smells, and none of the people smells were familiar. The stranger put him down and he looked around, all lost, because everything was new and frightening. He whined because he wanted to go home to his Mama and littermates, but he couldn’t get out and nobody came to rescue him. The strangers did talk to him nicely, and petted him and gave him some treats, which made him feel a little bit better, but mostly it was all new and frightening. At least he had his familiar blanket with all the smells of home on it. That comforted him and helped him to sleep in this strange and scary place.

What might happen next:

The next day, the strangers fed him and petted him some more, which felt nice. But then, just when he was starting to relax, another strange two-legged came into this scary house and started to pet him. As soon as that one left, two more arrived, looked at him and wanted to pet him, and though he struggled to get away, the strangers who’d brought him here held him so he couldn’t and the new strangers were all over him and scaring him.

Finally they left, but they were hardly out the door when another two-legged came in and by now he was really getting scared that someone else was going to pick him up and take him away again, so he started whining– all he wanted was to go home to Mama and his littermates where he was safe!

Finally, FINALLY, all the other strangers went away and nobody else came. But he was still kind of scared by all that, so when the strangers who’d brought him got out a ball to play with he didn’t really want to play because he was too nervous. Then they put his leash on and took him outside, and everything there was different too, and when yet more strangers stopped to look at him and pet him, he started to howl and try to get back to the house so he could hide!

Or this:

The next day, the strangers fed him and petted him some more, which felt nice. He licked their hands and face to say thanks, and then – oh hooray! – they got out a ball and started to roll it across the floor for him to chase. Boy, that was his favourite game! When they got tired of playing ball (heck, it wasn’t him, he could have kept going for hours!), they gave him a nice chew-toy with some frozen yogurt and peanut butter in it and he got to lick and chew at that for a while which felt really good too because some of his new teeth were bugging him.

Then one of the strangers picked him up and put him beside her on the rocking chair and they got a nice snuggle time together. Boy, he was really starting to like these two-leggeds! They seemed really nice. After snuggle time, they gave him a bit of lunch and made themselves some too, and while they ate he got to explore the house some more and sniff around to get familiar with all the new smells and places.

He almost went pee in one corner but the two-leggeds swooped him up just as he was crouching down and put him outside so he did his business there. After that he went into his crate for a wee nap while the two-leggeds puttered around the house. The radio was playing, which made him feel not so lonely even though there was nobody snuggled up beside him like he almost always had back home.

After naptime, the friendly strangers took him outside – it was a warm sunny day – and they got to play ball together (again!) out on the grass inside the big fenced area, but this time they threw the ball and he got to run around and catch it. When the two-leggeds stopped playing, he got to sniff all over the place to find out who had visited recently and what other dogs had been around and what the different plants were and all that interesting stuff. After a long time outside, they went in and he had supper and more playtime until it was late and he fell asleep easily on his old familiar blanket with the new friendly two-leggeds not far away.

Obviously, the second scenario sounds much more pleasant and relaxing.

A good way to think about it

A good way to think about it is that when your new puppy goes home with you, it’s like he’s been abducted by aliens – he’s in a foreign world with strange voices, strange smells, strange sights and sounds. It can be very overwhelming for a little puppy, despite the fact that between 8 and 12 weeks they are in the prime development phase for experiencing new things and adapting to a new environment. So it’s best to take things slowly.

Give him lots of time just playing with you in your home and yard so he can become familiar with all these new and perhaps frightening people and places. Only then, once he’s responding well and you sense that he’s feeling safe and secure, should you introduce him to people and places beyond your immediate family and home.

Puppies are adaptable, and not nearly as complex as people, but they can become anxious and nervous in the face of too many changes all at once. The socialization we do with the puppies goes a long way towards ensuring they can and will adapt to their new homes, be friendly and inquisitive, and feel secure – but you have a role to play in the transfer process too. Keep things quiet and low-key for a couple of days before introducing more strangers and strange locations.

Your primary responsibility is to your puppy, to make sure he adjusts well to you and your home – all those interested friends and neighbours will just have to wait. If you do so, they are far more likely to be greeted by a happy, tail-wagging pup who wants to play, rather than a scared, nervous pup with its tail between its legs.